A few years back I was sitting with a leader at the beach and I asked him why his students and volunteers were doing all the work while he sat in a beach chair. The response I got was "I'm leading by delegating." That always stuck with me to this day not because it was a great bit of leadership advice, but because it was completely opposite of what I believe should happen.
Real leaders don't lead from an armchair, they lead from the front. Leaders aren't leaders if no one is following, and people don't want to follow someone who sits while they work. The kind of sacrificial leadership I see in Jesus is the leader that is willing to do the worst of jobs in order to make the ones they serve see they are more important than themselves. The perfect example of this is when Jesus washes His disciples feet. I would gladly sit and wash my Lord's feet. I would do it happily and with pride, but it is Jesus that sits us down to wash ours. If my God would lead from the front, how could I ever for a second think that I am above that.
So how do you delegate? Do you find yourself giving everyone else the worst of jobs and yourself the best most of the time, or are you taking the worst?
Monday, April 11, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
5 mistakes to Avoid in Multi Site Youth Ministry.
I grew up very competitive. Whether it is checkers, softball, Call Of Duty, Monopoly Deal, eating (which caused 30 lbs of weight gain a few years back) it doesn't matter. If someone challenges me, I not only want to compete, but win. This changed dramatically since starting ministry. It had to. My first years I spent comparing competing, burning the candle at both ends because victory was being the biggest, the best, and have the most growth. I will admit that I still catch myself wrestling with this at times, but since taking one of the regional campus' at Saddleback a few years ago I have not only been forced to make the changes, but I feel like I have learned very valuable pieces of ministry that I want to pass on that will make you happier, your campus happier, your church happier.
Here is how to make your time as a Multi-Site Youth Pastor more difficult:
1. Don't Work with your main campus.
The threat you will feel is that if your students at your little campus see the giant "mothership" and think "if my students see/experience this why would they come back to my campus". The difference doesn't have to be as big as you think. It might not be the number of students, but buildings that are cool, the main campus teacher is better, they have the cool kids, and on and on.
The truth is I believe that students don't just come to our ministry because it is cool. Let's face it, we are not cool, well maybe you are the cool youth pastor but I'm not and no matter how cool you are there are way cooler people out there. Students show up because you love them, and caring leaders love them.
Do not be afraid to do events, camps, and training together. It reminds the students that we are all one church just in many locations.
2. Compare yourself to the other campus'.
You have a few things in common with all of the sites at your Multi site church: you are all carrying out the same vision, and you are all not reaching your community the way you wish you were. Whether the campus is 5 or 5000 we all could be doing better and wish we could get those lost people in.
My most common mistake is to look at the main campus hear the story of baptizing 40 on a weekend and suddenly feel like the 3 I did isn't as valuable, exciting, cool. The Bible says that the angels celebrate every 1....1 it says. Gods victories in your ministry are just as important and God will do something different at each campus.
You might have no problem not comparing your ministry with the main campus, but your struggle is with the other regional campus' at your church. Here is the truth, you have control over one thing: your relationship with God which allows His Spirit to carry out His plan. That is all you can do. Love and listen to God, love your family, love your students, and carry out the vision of your church to the best of your ability. If you are doing these things well, being critical of where your ministry is, is being critical of Gods plan for your church.
The ministry God has put you in charge of is your ministry and it's a privelege to be called to lead a ministry. All we can do is let God's spirit lead us, and do the best we can.
3. Go against the vision of the main campus.
This is why being a regional youth pastor is not for everyone. At most churches you have to stick to the vision of your church to set the tone for your youth ministry. Not only do you have to do that at a regional campus, but your student ministries vision is usually already set by someone. This can be difficult to handle if you like coming into a place and setting your own vision. Remember you are ONE church in MANY locations. This is not just our ministry you are a part of a ministry team, and you are to follow the leadership of the church. If you don't like the vision of the church leave. Remember you took the position, they didn't force you by gun point.
If you absolutely love setting your own vision statement, and aren't satisfied with just setting campus goals then multi-site youth ministry might not be for you.
4. Don't Ask for help.
You have a team of people at all the campus' don't be shy about asking for help. My ministry took huge strides when I got over the pride of wanting to do it all myself and started being willing to say "I need help" and "I don't know what I'm doing". Real leaders are learners, and real leaders work in teams.
At my campus I am the only youth ministry staff, but I have a team of volunteers that are amazing, student leaders that bring me to tears with their hearts for their peers and Christ, and a team in Lake Forest that can't run my entire ministry for me but are willing to help in anything they can. If your campus can't do that you might want to talk to whoever oversees student ministries at your church and ask them who you can ask for help. If you live too far to interact with the team at your church connect with the closest regional youth pastor, or find youth pastors in your city that want to get together to care and support each other because you are all in the same fight.
Just don't try to do it by yourself.
5. Try to offer everything.
You don't have to offer everything your main campus offers. It's as easy as that. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to have every little thing the main does or your students will leave. First off if they do they are still at your church (I know that it stings a little even though it's the same church but the sooner you get over it the better), second talk with whoever oversees student ministry on what is the most important pieces. At Saddleback it is weekend large group services, and offering small groups. I have to do that because that is the DNA of our church (and would do it even if it wasn't because I believe in it). We don't have some of the cool classes that other campus' offer, the Landing which is a ministry for hurting teens, some of our campus' don't have student bands, ect. It's ok unless your pastor says it isn't.
I am not saying do the bare minimum, but start by doing the necessity, then add after you feel God is telling you too.
I know this is not an exhaustive list, but just a few learning I have had in my years as a Regional Youth Pastor. If you are looking for an interesting book on starting a Multi Site Church check out "The Multi-Site Church Revolution: Being One Church in Many Locations" by Geoff Surratt.
Here is how to make your time as a Multi-Site Youth Pastor more difficult:
1. Don't Work with your main campus.
The threat you will feel is that if your students at your little campus see the giant "mothership" and think "if my students see/experience this why would they come back to my campus". The difference doesn't have to be as big as you think. It might not be the number of students, but buildings that are cool, the main campus teacher is better, they have the cool kids, and on and on.
The truth is I believe that students don't just come to our ministry because it is cool. Let's face it, we are not cool, well maybe you are the cool youth pastor but I'm not and no matter how cool you are there are way cooler people out there. Students show up because you love them, and caring leaders love them.
Do not be afraid to do events, camps, and training together. It reminds the students that we are all one church just in many locations.
2. Compare yourself to the other campus'.
You have a few things in common with all of the sites at your Multi site church: you are all carrying out the same vision, and you are all not reaching your community the way you wish you were. Whether the campus is 5 or 5000 we all could be doing better and wish we could get those lost people in.
My most common mistake is to look at the main campus hear the story of baptizing 40 on a weekend and suddenly feel like the 3 I did isn't as valuable, exciting, cool. The Bible says that the angels celebrate every 1....1 it says. Gods victories in your ministry are just as important and God will do something different at each campus.
You might have no problem not comparing your ministry with the main campus, but your struggle is with the other regional campus' at your church. Here is the truth, you have control over one thing: your relationship with God which allows His Spirit to carry out His plan. That is all you can do. Love and listen to God, love your family, love your students, and carry out the vision of your church to the best of your ability. If you are doing these things well, being critical of where your ministry is, is being critical of Gods plan for your church.
The ministry God has put you in charge of is your ministry and it's a privelege to be called to lead a ministry. All we can do is let God's spirit lead us, and do the best we can.
3. Go against the vision of the main campus.
This is why being a regional youth pastor is not for everyone. At most churches you have to stick to the vision of your church to set the tone for your youth ministry. Not only do you have to do that at a regional campus, but your student ministries vision is usually already set by someone. This can be difficult to handle if you like coming into a place and setting your own vision. Remember you are ONE church in MANY locations. This is not just our ministry you are a part of a ministry team, and you are to follow the leadership of the church. If you don't like the vision of the church leave. Remember you took the position, they didn't force you by gun point.
If you absolutely love setting your own vision statement, and aren't satisfied with just setting campus goals then multi-site youth ministry might not be for you.
4. Don't Ask for help.
You have a team of people at all the campus' don't be shy about asking for help. My ministry took huge strides when I got over the pride of wanting to do it all myself and started being willing to say "I need help" and "I don't know what I'm doing". Real leaders are learners, and real leaders work in teams.
At my campus I am the only youth ministry staff, but I have a team of volunteers that are amazing, student leaders that bring me to tears with their hearts for their peers and Christ, and a team in Lake Forest that can't run my entire ministry for me but are willing to help in anything they can. If your campus can't do that you might want to talk to whoever oversees student ministries at your church and ask them who you can ask for help. If you live too far to interact with the team at your church connect with the closest regional youth pastor, or find youth pastors in your city that want to get together to care and support each other because you are all in the same fight.
Just don't try to do it by yourself.
5. Try to offer everything.
You don't have to offer everything your main campus offers. It's as easy as that. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to have every little thing the main does or your students will leave. First off if they do they are still at your church (I know that it stings a little even though it's the same church but the sooner you get over it the better), second talk with whoever oversees student ministry on what is the most important pieces. At Saddleback it is weekend large group services, and offering small groups. I have to do that because that is the DNA of our church (and would do it even if it wasn't because I believe in it). We don't have some of the cool classes that other campus' offer, the Landing which is a ministry for hurting teens, some of our campus' don't have student bands, ect. It's ok unless your pastor says it isn't.
I am not saying do the bare minimum, but start by doing the necessity, then add after you feel God is telling you too.
I know this is not an exhaustive list, but just a few learning I have had in my years as a Regional Youth Pastor. If you are looking for an interesting book on starting a Multi Site Church check out "The Multi-Site Church Revolution: Being One Church in Many Locations" by Geoff Surratt.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
After 25 You Might As Well Put On Your Parachute Pants
When I was 25 and in seminary I had a very wise friend named Neil tell me to enjoy being 25 because "that is the coolest I will ever be in my life". I laughed at him, but got a little nervous at the same time. I wondered what that meant, do I have to leave student ministry, was I going to lose my relevance, was I going to get replaced by a younger cooler model? These are the questions I wrestled with.
After a week of thinking about it, worrying about it, I decided to bring the Yoda in my life into the discussion....my wife. I asked her "babe, do you think I'm cool". Se said "no, you are a dork". Not exactly what I wanted to hear. We laughed and I went on to tell her what Neil said, and ask her what that meant to her. She said "I don't know you tell me". You can see where this conversation was going, not very helpful. She could see I was uneasy and reminded me of the great adult leaders, and how students loved them, how I thought like a student still, and said she was sure we'd be fine. I felt frustrated that i didn't get the "you are and always will be the coolest man next to Jonny Depp" and agreed with her but didn't know why I was so uneasy.
When I went back to Neil I shared what I was going through with his silly comment (the funny thing is he was 10 years older than me and still a great youth pastor). Through our conversation he asked a valuable question. One that I will never forget and I keep asking everyday. He said "what is your ministry built on"? He went on to describe how many student ministries are built on the personality and coolness of the youth pastor. He talked about how many youth pastors ride the coolness factor and through the coolness of who they are the ministry grows, students bring friends, and what seems like ministry success happens.
Then he dropped the bomb, "most of those people I know like that didn't make it to 30 in ministry". He illustrated that life after cool is different and a ministry built on the cool leader shrinks when the leader stops being cool, and decreasing coolness is as sure a thing as Apple releasing a new iPod every year.
"But I don't want to be an adult pastor, with all the collared shirts, no flip flops, will have to grow a mustache/goatee combo, throw out my video games" I said half meaning all of it, and he laughed. I realized that day I can only go so far on personality and talent alone. If I don't have substance, if I am not growing, if I am not deeper than just personality then I'm doomed. Neil looked me in the eyes, I think he could sense my worry and discouragement thinking this was my last good year of youth ministry, and said "Mike, that is why you went to seminary. To get substance to bring to your students. As long as you love students and continue to grow you will be fine".
I really believe that day saved my ministry. That is a day that saved me from flaming out, from doubting my calling when I was no longer the cool pastor (and I definitely am not the cool pastor now and it's debatable if there was ever a moment I was the cool pastor). That was the day I realized I could be 50 and great at student ministry because I had depth. So I will ask you the same question, "what is your ministry built on"? Is it personality, or have you committed yourself to loving God, Students, and bringing depth to your ministry? I want us to make it past the cool.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Finding New Wine Skins in the Old
It's amazing to me that I can hear the same thing over and over again and yet still find new truths. I know the Bible is like that, but I have in the past been very reluctant with messages. I will hear a message preached on a verse or topic and usually I tune it out. This week at Radicalis I heard a man preach on "living like you're dying" which I usually think of the country song (and I absolutely hate country music) so I was tempted to tune out, but a question was asked. "How different would you live if you knew you were going to die in a week?" Not a new question right? I've heard it asked by many pastors, and have even used it messages myself. My mind wondered.
I started thinking though about horror movies, of all things. If you know me you know I have a deep love of B horror movies such as Sharktopus, or Orca, or Mega Shark vs. Giant Squid. Yeah that kind of B movie. E made for SyFy kind of B movie. I think the main reason I love these and hate real horror movies is that I hate being scared, and I can laugh at these. During every one of these movies, my favorite thing to do is to talk to the characters before they die. Tell them "I wouldn't sleep with that person" or "I wouldn't cuss like that" because I know they are going to die and have to explain that to Christ (well at least they would if it was real).
I have never really considered the real fact that they probably wouldn't do that either if they new they were going to meet Christ. Maybe not, but if they REALLY believed they were going to meet Christ, like I believe, when they die they wouldn't. Which got me wondering what I am doing that I would do different if I REALLY believed I could meet Christ at any second.
1. I would serve my wife better- I work hard as I am sure you do too. I serve people all day, and don't gripe, in fact I love it. I live for it. Yet, when I get home I want to unwind. I want to be served, I want to relax, I want to not think and who gets the neglect? My wife. She watches me serve others all day long yet a simple task becomes a chore when I get home and want to unwind. How sad is that? The human I love most (other than Jesus Himself) is her and yet I am least likely to serve her with a smile, go the extra mile, encourage. If it was my last week on earth I would serve with a smile EVERYTIME. I would go the extra mile without being asked. I would deeply desire for her to remember me, not for how great I served others, but how great I served God and HER.
2. I would deal with my sin NOW- The speaker talked about his struggle with porn and said "I wonder if I would struggle with porn this week if I knew it was my last week on earth." My obvious answer is "NO." I have watched the horror movies and in my conversations with the characters learned I don't want to explain that to Christ. Sad that I would think that as long as I fix it a week before I die it's ok. If I wouldn't do that the last week why am I ok with it now. Why am I ok with my anger, my impatience, all my junk and believe it will just get fixed when the reality is I don't know if this is my last week or not. You want to deal with your sin don't just think "this might be my last week" convince yourself it is. Die to yourself, offer yourself as a living sacrifice.
3. I wouldn't wait for perfect conditions to have the conversations I need to have- I am a procrastinator, and I hate failure. I know no one loves it, but I don't get over failure easy at all. I relive it over and over in my mind (I know, I should see number 2 on this list and i promise you God will help me change this in my life). So what do I do, I wait for conditions to be absolutely perfect so that there is no possibility of failure. This is the human side of me that actually ends up stifling God's Spirit from moving in the moment, and it needs to stop.
So what!?! So what do I do now? It's easy and difficult at the same time. Now my job is to believe I am dying not just because I want to be a better Christian, a better husband, a better pastor, but because it is the truth. The truth is my end will come like a thief in the night. Whether it is my death or Christ's return it will come and I might not have the luxury of knowing when my last week is. So I beg you, please join me in living with the joy and peace of knowing we may leave this earth in a week and we need to make it count.
I started thinking though about horror movies, of all things. If you know me you know I have a deep love of B horror movies such as Sharktopus, or Orca, or Mega Shark vs. Giant Squid. Yeah that kind of B movie. E made for SyFy kind of B movie. I think the main reason I love these and hate real horror movies is that I hate being scared, and I can laugh at these. During every one of these movies, my favorite thing to do is to talk to the characters before they die. Tell them "I wouldn't sleep with that person" or "I wouldn't cuss like that" because I know they are going to die and have to explain that to Christ (well at least they would if it was real).
I have never really considered the real fact that they probably wouldn't do that either if they new they were going to meet Christ. Maybe not, but if they REALLY believed they were going to meet Christ, like I believe, when they die they wouldn't. Which got me wondering what I am doing that I would do different if I REALLY believed I could meet Christ at any second.
1. I would serve my wife better- I work hard as I am sure you do too. I serve people all day, and don't gripe, in fact I love it. I live for it. Yet, when I get home I want to unwind. I want to be served, I want to relax, I want to not think and who gets the neglect? My wife. She watches me serve others all day long yet a simple task becomes a chore when I get home and want to unwind. How sad is that? The human I love most (other than Jesus Himself) is her and yet I am least likely to serve her with a smile, go the extra mile, encourage. If it was my last week on earth I would serve with a smile EVERYTIME. I would go the extra mile without being asked. I would deeply desire for her to remember me, not for how great I served others, but how great I served God and HER.
2. I would deal with my sin NOW- The speaker talked about his struggle with porn and said "I wonder if I would struggle with porn this week if I knew it was my last week on earth." My obvious answer is "NO." I have watched the horror movies and in my conversations with the characters learned I don't want to explain that to Christ. Sad that I would think that as long as I fix it a week before I die it's ok. If I wouldn't do that the last week why am I ok with it now. Why am I ok with my anger, my impatience, all my junk and believe it will just get fixed when the reality is I don't know if this is my last week or not. You want to deal with your sin don't just think "this might be my last week" convince yourself it is. Die to yourself, offer yourself as a living sacrifice.
3. I wouldn't wait for perfect conditions to have the conversations I need to have- I am a procrastinator, and I hate failure. I know no one loves it, but I don't get over failure easy at all. I relive it over and over in my mind (I know, I should see number 2 on this list and i promise you God will help me change this in my life). So what do I do, I wait for conditions to be absolutely perfect so that there is no possibility of failure. This is the human side of me that actually ends up stifling God's Spirit from moving in the moment, and it needs to stop.
So what!?! So what do I do now? It's easy and difficult at the same time. Now my job is to believe I am dying not just because I want to be a better Christian, a better husband, a better pastor, but because it is the truth. The truth is my end will come like a thief in the night. Whether it is my death or Christ's return it will come and I might not have the luxury of knowing when my last week is. So I beg you, please join me in living with the joy and peace of knowing we may leave this earth in a week and we need to make it count.
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What I Learned From Karla
I was twenty four, pumped, and ready for anything, as I embarked on my first year in ministry as the high school Pastor at my church. In my mind I had it all together, I knew it all, had seen it all, and was ready to show students, parents, and the other pastors how high school ministry was done.
My, “I know everything” attitude came to a screeching halt within the first few months, as I experienced my first tragedy. One of my core students was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. This information left me speechless. The following year bulged with questions from students, questions I had for God, tears, and ultimately, the most beautiful funeral I have ever had the privilege to be a part of. The lessons I learned from watching a 15 year old girl named Karla, live a faith better than most 50 year veteran Christians, will never be forgotten:
Students can make a HUGE impact- I always believed this statement, but this experience provided for me a living example. I understood more clearly that a life that is lived for God can change the world. A life of surrender demonstrates hope. Our students need to show the world they are not the hope of the future but the hope of now. Karla brought hundreds of people to Christ through a life which showed that death isn’t the worst that can happen to a person and having 2,500 people attend her funeral affirmed that. I need to consistently remind my students they are the hope for NOW, today. Lead with your hands tied behind your back- My leadership style tends to be “let me show you how to do it. I know better, and you should do it the way that I tell you to.” Students need a leader who is willing let them fail. If I expect the students in my group to do great things, than I need to show them that I believe in them, and their way of doing things even if that means an occasional crash. Honestly, even though this idea makes me nervous at times I know that great things will happen when I am not there to be the fix-it-man. If I would have tried to help Karla, I would’ve just gotten in the way of God using her grand ways.
Joy is contagious- Karla was one of the most joyful people I have ever met. I couldn’t help smiling when I saw her. If anyone embodied the joy of Christ, this 15 year old girl did, and everyone loved her for it. Sometimes the best witness to our students is showing the joy we have in God. When we look past the stress of the job, the frustration of pay, the ridiculous amount of hours we work, or people that don’t understand us, we should still be joyful for the mere fact that we get to serve a God who died for us, and our students, and loves us unconditionally. Do my students see and sense my joy for God? They should.
Unfortunately, it took something as shaking as a student’s death, in order for me to believe, with all I have in me, that my students can make a difference in the world. I had a lot to learn from Karla, she was a great teacher.
My, “I know everything” attitude came to a screeching halt within the first few months, as I experienced my first tragedy. One of my core students was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. This information left me speechless. The following year bulged with questions from students, questions I had for God, tears, and ultimately, the most beautiful funeral I have ever had the privilege to be a part of. The lessons I learned from watching a 15 year old girl named Karla, live a faith better than most 50 year veteran Christians, will never be forgotten:
Students can make a HUGE impact- I always believed this statement, but this experience provided for me a living example. I understood more clearly that a life that is lived for God can change the world. A life of surrender demonstrates hope. Our students need to show the world they are not the hope of the future but the hope of now. Karla brought hundreds of people to Christ through a life which showed that death isn’t the worst that can happen to a person and having 2,500 people attend her funeral affirmed that. I need to consistently remind my students they are the hope for NOW, today. Lead with your hands tied behind your back- My leadership style tends to be “let me show you how to do it. I know better, and you should do it the way that I tell you to.” Students need a leader who is willing let them fail. If I expect the students in my group to do great things, than I need to show them that I believe in them, and their way of doing things even if that means an occasional crash. Honestly, even though this idea makes me nervous at times I know that great things will happen when I am not there to be the fix-it-man. If I would have tried to help Karla, I would’ve just gotten in the way of God using her grand ways.
Joy is contagious- Karla was one of the most joyful people I have ever met. I couldn’t help smiling when I saw her. If anyone embodied the joy of Christ, this 15 year old girl did, and everyone loved her for it. Sometimes the best witness to our students is showing the joy we have in God. When we look past the stress of the job, the frustration of pay, the ridiculous amount of hours we work, or people that don’t understand us, we should still be joyful for the mere fact that we get to serve a God who died for us, and our students, and loves us unconditionally. Do my students see and sense my joy for God? They should.
Unfortunately, it took something as shaking as a student’s death, in order for me to believe, with all I have in me, that my students can make a difference in the world. I had a lot to learn from Karla, she was a great teacher.
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